“Never place faith in anyone who drinks dessert-flavored vodka. Anyone who drinks straight bourbon, meanwhile, can be trusted with a newborn.”—Drew Lazor for Philadelphia City Paper, May 31 2012 (via callmehats)
“A society that does not accept the facts is a childish society, and a society that makes abortion illegal—and I believe that the PBAB is a calculated step in exactly that direction—is a cruel and backward society that makes being female a crime. It works in partnership with the illegal abortionist. It puts him in business, sends him his customers, and employs him to dispense crude, dirty, barbaric, savage punishment to those who break the law. And the ones who are punished by the illegal abortionist are always women: mothers, sisters, daughters, wives.
It’s no way to treat a lady.”
This is such an important article. Eleanor Cooney for Mother Jones on the “Partial-Birth” Abortion Ban and the necessity of having access to legal, safe abortions for allwomen regardlessof circumstance, age, race, class, religion, number of months pregnant, reason for being pregnant, etc.
You must read this.
Yup yup yup.
Shit, dude. I read this back during my junior year in one of my women and gender classes.
“The obvious explanation is that every time a woman tries to tell a joke, an invisible dream-catcher telescopes out of her vagina and snatches it from the air. Science.”—Lindy West, on those bogus studies that come out every couple years saying men are funnier than women. (via washingtonpoststyle)
“Gatsby is a book that has come to mean something to people that sometimes feels disconnected from the book itself. Fitzgerald great trick was to write about two people who wanted each other, but not write a love story. Of course I root for Daisy to leave Tom every time. But my rooting is wrong, and by the end of the book, Fitzgerald has really shown you why. Daisy is the one that got away—except you have no idea what that means. That “one” isn’t some better future. She is a person—a indelibly flawed American. Like you.”—Ta-Nehisi Coates, on The Great Gatsby. (via theatlantic)
Stand beside it, we can’t hide the way it makes us glow, it’s no good unless it grows, feel this burning, love of mine. Deep inside the ever-spinning, tell me does it feel? It’s no good unless it’s real, hill sides burning, wild-eyed turning, til we’re running from it.
“I’d work in a flower shop and be insecure. And he’d work in real estate…and there’s always cupcake batter on my face, and I’m like, ‘I just made these cupcakes, but I don’t know how I feel!’ And he’s like, ‘Let me get that cupcake batter off your face… with my dick. Cut to me giving him a hand job. Sorry, I’ve had too much caffeine.”—
Audrey Plaza’s pitch for a romcom starring herself and Ryan Gosling (Vulture)
Summer goal: write this movie. Slash porn. WHATEVER.
“I had a big fuckload of batteries in the pockets of my cardigan, so the cardigan hung down. I had a swagger. A cardigan with a swagger, right? Can you imagine getting knocked the fuck out by a dude in a cardigan? I looked like your granddad.”—Tom Hardy on badass cardigans (via howtotalktogirlsatparties)
Siri:What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel:Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri:...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel:Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri:Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel:Remind me to clean up.
Siri:Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Siri:I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel:Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri:I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel:Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri:I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Siri:Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.